Every year my folks have a garden. They typically grow tomatoes, squash, zucchini, cucumbers, pole beans, sugar pod peas, bell peppers, onions, and spinach. Dad always has a grapevine. This year they're also growing onions, a couple of different types of tomatoes, and several more varities of peppers. They usually share with me because they always have surplus. This works out well for me because I have a permanent black thumb.
Black thumb = problem. Big problem. Apparently I inherited none of their plant intuition. I don't automatically know how wet or dry the soil needs to be, how much sunshine the plant needs, or when to make googly voices at it while I stroke its leaves (unless it's "never"). All of my plants have either suffered from root rot from overzealous hydration or have dried to a crisp before I've remembered to water them. Over the years my garbage has been a sad graveyard for plants that I've managed to torture out of existence. (Now pets? No problem. At least, if I forget to feed them one day they always remind me to feed them by the time the second day rolls around. Always).
I am terrified anytime a new plant makes its unlucky way into my household. For instance, a lovely customer of the pharmacy gave us a plant to show his gratitude. Just about everyone forgot to water it except me and our morning cashier. It also developed a sort of gangsta lean to one side because the top of the plant was so much heavier than the root ball (and the pot it was in was too small for the plant to survive). Still, it managed to grow a few tiny orange blossoms in its environment of air conditioning and artificial light. It was adorable and sad. I felt badly for it and brought it home (dun-dun-duuuuuuuun). I found out it was a succulent called a Flaming Katy (probably because of the blazingly bright flowers it produces) and then named it Herman. I called Mom for pointers and she assured me that they're nearly impossible to kill, which is good for me. Bad for the plant, because this ensures a particularly long period of torture. Poor Herman should have been left in his too-small pot in his artificial environment with a cash register stylus stuck into the soil to prop him up. Even with a new clay pot to live in and fresh topsoil to stretch his roots into, he looks worse than ever. Somehow, the topsoil I gave him had gnat eggs in it. Those have all hatched and fly around him like filthy little sattelites, despite several attempts to squish them all or drown them to death. His flowers have since fallen off and his new offshoots have shriveled into themselves. I have no clue what all is wrong with him. I give it maybe another month.
Why can't I successfully grow houseplants? Why? My eyes send a signal to my brain that they're cheerful and terribly pretty. My brain then sends a signal down to my psycho serial killer black thumb to make this a quick one. We haven't got all week to wait for this thing to die.
I love vegetables, too. And this diet I'm on desperately wants me to eat organic, which is--sadly--notoriously expensive. (Have I mentioned yet that I'm broke? It takes over $50 to fill a tank of gas. I'm getting married in October and we're funding almost all of it ourselves. I will be paying off my student loans until I'm dead.) So I guess the more I can save money by eating free or cheap things, the better. Thank God for parents that grow yummy free things. And for farmer's markets that help support local farmers. They're not as cheap as free, but the money goes to an excellent cause. Not to mention produce from small farms tastes better than anything you could ever get at a grocery store or chain. All fantastic for someone like me whose thumb can't wait to choke the life out of another leafy potted thing.
With that in mind, when the Zombie Apocalypse starts I will be unable to help the community by raising crops or slaughtering animals. My contribution will be as marksman. Thank God I'm a pretty decent shot.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Weight-Loss Competition Rules and Letter of Welcome
Welcome competitors, to our 13-week weight-loss competition! It will last from May 1st, 2011 until August 1st, 2011--effectively 13 weeks.
The point of this competition is, first and foremost, a way for us to encourage ourselves to get healthy and lose weight. At the same time, I would hope we could encourage each other to eat better, be more active, and live a healthy lifestyle. Wouldn't it feel good to serve as inspiration for other individuals and to be considered great role models? Not to mention how great we'll look and feel once the competition is done! Each of us has our individual motivations to achieve our own good health, and I firmly believe in the strength of numbers. Where one of us might be struggling with our progress while dieting and exercising on our own, maybe a whole group of us who all have the same goal can provide the inspiration for us to do what we could not by ourselves!
The fee for competing is $10. Everyone will need to get their money to me by May 15th. This will give all of you plenty of time to set the money aside and either bring it to me in person or mail it to me. If you need any of my contact info, message me on Facebook or email me at amy.baltz@gmail.com. If you cannot get the $10 entry fee to me within the allotted time you will not be allowed to compete. Adversely, once you have paid your $10, the money cannot be refunded unless you have extenuating circumstances that prevent you from participating. Once the competition is over, the prize money will be given to the winner no later than August 15th, 2011.
Our first weigh-in will be Sunday, May 1st and the results posted on Monday, May 2nd at the latest. The last weigh-in will be Sunday, July 31st, and the results of the whole competition posted Monday, August 1st. We will be weighing in every Sunday. I will need your weight by the end of that day. The earlier, the better. Please try to use the same scale each week and weigh yourself at the same time every Sunday. Feel free to send me a message on Facebook, text me, email me, call me, or tell me in person. There are many ways to get in contact with me, so there should be no problems in getting me your weight on time every week. If you absolutely cannot get to your scale or if it breaks and you have to buy a new one, please let me know ahead of time.
You are allowed to use any diet and exercise method you like, as long as it is safe and healthy. Use of medical appetite suppressants, commercial laxatives, diuretics (except in case of medical necessity), energy drinks, and the over-the-counter drug Alli are not allowed. These would be considered an unfair advantage for anyone using them. Natural supplements and vitamins are okay. Surgical procedures such as gastric bypass, lap-band, and liposuction are automatic disqualifiers. If you have any questions about what might or might not be allowed during the competition, do not hesitate to ask.
A lot of this competition is based on honesty. I won't be able to see some of you on a daily or even weekly basis, so I will have to take your word for it when you tell me how much you've lost and that you have done so legally. Please be honest in your methods and in the accuracy of your progress. Last time I hosted a competition, the very first week a contestant lost 8 lbs. That type of weight loss is not impossible to obtain during the first week, but if it had continued every week, the red flag would have been raised and I would have needed greater proof that it was legitimately achieved (for instance, before and after pictures with a displayed time stamp). Please do not be offended if I ask you for proof should your weight loss produce vastly significant numbers every week. I am just trying to make sure your progress is accurate.
To make the playing field as even as possible, our weight loss will be measured by percentage of weight lost, not by pounds. That way a larger person who loses more weight will have no greater impact than a smaller person who loses less weight. The formula for calculating weight loss percentage is as follows:
We will not be posting our weights publicly, so those of you who are sensitive, don't worry! I will create a closed group on Facebook that will house all of our information and weekly progress. You may all post in the group if you like with comments, topics, photos, recipes, graphs, etc, but please use common courtesy. Playful trash talking is ok, but emphatic put-downs, spamming, flaming, and inappropriate use of the group will not be tolerated. I will moderate the group and make sure the rules are being followed to the best of my abilities. I promise I will be as fair as possible.
Do not hesitate to contact me regarding the rules or to ask questions about anything. Additionally, if you know of anyone who might want to participate, please direct them to this blog post or send them my email! The deadline to sign up is Sunday, April 30, at 11:59 pm!
I wish each and every one of you the best of luck in our competition! Here's to good health!
The point of this competition is, first and foremost, a way for us to encourage ourselves to get healthy and lose weight. At the same time, I would hope we could encourage each other to eat better, be more active, and live a healthy lifestyle. Wouldn't it feel good to serve as inspiration for other individuals and to be considered great role models? Not to mention how great we'll look and feel once the competition is done! Each of us has our individual motivations to achieve our own good health, and I firmly believe in the strength of numbers. Where one of us might be struggling with our progress while dieting and exercising on our own, maybe a whole group of us who all have the same goal can provide the inspiration for us to do what we could not by ourselves!
The fee for competing is $10. Everyone will need to get their money to me by May 15th. This will give all of you plenty of time to set the money aside and either bring it to me in person or mail it to me. If you need any of my contact info, message me on Facebook or email me at amy.baltz@gmail.com. If you cannot get the $10 entry fee to me within the allotted time you will not be allowed to compete. Adversely, once you have paid your $10, the money cannot be refunded unless you have extenuating circumstances that prevent you from participating. Once the competition is over, the prize money will be given to the winner no later than August 15th, 2011.
Our first weigh-in will be Sunday, May 1st and the results posted on Monday, May 2nd at the latest. The last weigh-in will be Sunday, July 31st, and the results of the whole competition posted Monday, August 1st. We will be weighing in every Sunday. I will need your weight by the end of that day. The earlier, the better. Please try to use the same scale each week and weigh yourself at the same time every Sunday. Feel free to send me a message on Facebook, text me, email me, call me, or tell me in person. There are many ways to get in contact with me, so there should be no problems in getting me your weight on time every week. If you absolutely cannot get to your scale or if it breaks and you have to buy a new one, please let me know ahead of time.
You are allowed to use any diet and exercise method you like, as long as it is safe and healthy. Use of medical appetite suppressants, commercial laxatives, diuretics (except in case of medical necessity), energy drinks, and the over-the-counter drug Alli are not allowed. These would be considered an unfair advantage for anyone using them. Natural supplements and vitamins are okay. Surgical procedures such as gastric bypass, lap-band, and liposuction are automatic disqualifiers. If you have any questions about what might or might not be allowed during the competition, do not hesitate to ask.
A lot of this competition is based on honesty. I won't be able to see some of you on a daily or even weekly basis, so I will have to take your word for it when you tell me how much you've lost and that you have done so legally. Please be honest in your methods and in the accuracy of your progress. Last time I hosted a competition, the very first week a contestant lost 8 lbs. That type of weight loss is not impossible to obtain during the first week, but if it had continued every week, the red flag would have been raised and I would have needed greater proof that it was legitimately achieved (for instance, before and after pictures with a displayed time stamp). Please do not be offended if I ask you for proof should your weight loss produce vastly significant numbers every week. I am just trying to make sure your progress is accurate.
To make the playing field as even as possible, our weight loss will be measured by percentage of weight lost, not by pounds. That way a larger person who loses more weight will have no greater impact than a smaller person who loses less weight. The formula for calculating weight loss percentage is as follows:
pounds lost / previous weight x 100 = weight loss %
We will not be posting our weights publicly, so those of you who are sensitive, don't worry! I will create a closed group on Facebook that will house all of our information and weekly progress. You may all post in the group if you like with comments, topics, photos, recipes, graphs, etc, but please use common courtesy. Playful trash talking is ok, but emphatic put-downs, spamming, flaming, and inappropriate use of the group will not be tolerated. I will moderate the group and make sure the rules are being followed to the best of my abilities. I promise I will be as fair as possible.
Do not hesitate to contact me regarding the rules or to ask questions about anything. Additionally, if you know of anyone who might want to participate, please direct them to this blog post or send them my email! The deadline to sign up is Sunday, April 30, at 11:59 pm!
I wish each and every one of you the best of luck in our competition! Here's to good health!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I Broke My Plateau! (before and after pictures included)
Last week I managed to shock myself.
My weight had been sitting at the same 2-3 lbs ever since the holidays. I hadn't been able to budge for over three months. Pretty darn frustrating, if you ask me. I started to get complacent, which is what usually happens when I don't see any progress on a diet. What typically follows the complacency is me giving up and gaining all the weight back plus some.
The shocking part, to me? This time I dug in my heels and refused to let that happen.
In the 32-plus years I've been alive, I've been on one form of diet or another, all the way back from when I was in first grade. I've never managed to stick with anything. I didn't think I had it in me.
It's nice to be wrong.
Last week, I woke up the day after my cleanse, ran to the bathroom and hopped on the scale. I had lost half a pound. HALF A POUND, people! That's huge, considering the three long months I've struggled! The extra exercise, the stricter adherence to the diet, and a near-perfect cleanse all paid off. Just in case it was a fluke, I decided to sort of tamp down my excitement until the following weigh-in, which happened to be today.
What did it say this morning? That I've lost 51.5 lbs now. Definitely not a fluke.
This diet is actually working for me. Or, more accurately, I am actually letting it work for me. Better yet, I am working hard to make sure it doesn't stop working for me.
And since so many of you have asked, I finally have some pictures to post. The first two are pictures that my fiance took of me on May 31st of last year, just weeks before I started the diet. The following are two sort of terrible pictures I just took with my phone about an hour ago.
Me at 275.8 lbs. I look really, really unhappy. That's a men's 3X t-shirt I'm busting out of.
Profile view isn't much prettier. This was the most I've ever weighed in my life.
Me at 224.2. I'm not ashamed to write down my weight (even though anyone with 2nd grade math skills could have figured it out by now) because I know that won't be me for much longer.
Sort of an awkward profile shot. It's easier when someone's taking it for you.
The next time I post pictures I hope to be at least another ten pounds down. But for right now, this should satisfy those of you who've been pestering me to put these up for months. You know who you are, and I love you for it!
My weight had been sitting at the same 2-3 lbs ever since the holidays. I hadn't been able to budge for over three months. Pretty darn frustrating, if you ask me. I started to get complacent, which is what usually happens when I don't see any progress on a diet. What typically follows the complacency is me giving up and gaining all the weight back plus some.
The shocking part, to me? This time I dug in my heels and refused to let that happen.
In the 32-plus years I've been alive, I've been on one form of diet or another, all the way back from when I was in first grade. I've never managed to stick with anything. I didn't think I had it in me.
It's nice to be wrong.
Last week, I woke up the day after my cleanse, ran to the bathroom and hopped on the scale. I had lost half a pound. HALF A POUND, people! That's huge, considering the three long months I've struggled! The extra exercise, the stricter adherence to the diet, and a near-perfect cleanse all paid off. Just in case it was a fluke, I decided to sort of tamp down my excitement until the following weigh-in, which happened to be today.
What did it say this morning? That I've lost 51.5 lbs now. Definitely not a fluke.
This diet is actually working for me. Or, more accurately, I am actually letting it work for me. Better yet, I am working hard to make sure it doesn't stop working for me.
And since so many of you have asked, I finally have some pictures to post. The first two are pictures that my fiance took of me on May 31st of last year, just weeks before I started the diet. The following are two sort of terrible pictures I just took with my phone about an hour ago.
The next time I post pictures I hope to be at least another ten pounds down. But for right now, this should satisfy those of you who've been pestering me to put these up for months. You know who you are, and I love you for it!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Ever watched The Ugly Truth? You haven't? Don't.
The Ugly Truth (2009)
Starring: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler
Director: Robert Luketic
Genre: Rom-com
Want the real ugly truth? I had to force myself to sit through this whole thing. I didn’t like it nearly as much as I thought I would. Thankfully it was available to stream on Netflix, so I didn’t have to spend any extra money renting it.
First of all, the soundtrack was my personal pop hell: it featured Natasha Bedingfield, Katy Perry, and other songs that were overplayed on the radio, had nothing to do with the movie, and made me roll my eyes. Not every movie has to have soaring orchestral compositions or quirky indie ballads, but it sounds like the music director for the movie only had a 13-year-old girl and a recent album of “Now That's What I Call Music” at his disposal.
I’ve got some questions about this movie. At one point in time, Butler’s character acts like Heigl’s gay BFF and tells her how to get the man, since he knows what goes on in every man’s mind. But if he’s as macho and masculine as he says he is, why is he helping her get hair extensions, bra fittings, and a new dress? That doesn’t make sense. Speaking of which, why was Kevin Connelly featured in the opening credits? Granted, he’s the third most famous person in the movie, but why is someone who’s not even featured for longer than a cameo given relatively top billing?
There’s also lots of potty humor. Ordinarily, the more dirty jokes in a movie, the better for me. But not so much in a movie like this: for instance, you figure the f-bomb would be less abused in a chick flick as seemingly mild and predictable as this one initially appears. Apparently not. There’s also lots of talk of penises, a pair of vibrating panties worn to a dinner party, and even a scene where Heigl gets stuck in a tree, upside-down with her dress slid down to her face to reveal her sensible white underpants. To me, the humor is just plain schlocky and deliberate when it’s not being a giant dirty joke.
The plot is inevitable, formulaic, and predictable. The characters aren’t particularly endearing or believable. Heigl’s Abby comes across as stiff as a high school drama student and Butler’s Mike is an overblown, blustering ego (with a secret hurt deep inside to help explain the misogyny. Imagine that!). They soften as the movie progresses, but not truly to the point of believability. Put Butler back in Spartan armor or military fatigues where he belongs. I’ll believe that more than his story about a parade of women who broke his heart and made him the man he is.
As far as rom-coms go, this wasn’t one of the better ones. Wanna see a good movie in this genre with Katherine Heigl in it? Watch Knocked Up. She and Rogan are far more believable than she and Butler.
Starring: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler
Director: Robert Luketic
Genre: Rom-com
Want the real ugly truth? I had to force myself to sit through this whole thing. I didn’t like it nearly as much as I thought I would. Thankfully it was available to stream on Netflix, so I didn’t have to spend any extra money renting it.
First of all, the soundtrack was my personal pop hell: it featured Natasha Bedingfield, Katy Perry, and other songs that were overplayed on the radio, had nothing to do with the movie, and made me roll my eyes. Not every movie has to have soaring orchestral compositions or quirky indie ballads, but it sounds like the music director for the movie only had a 13-year-old girl and a recent album of “Now That's What I Call Music” at his disposal.
I’ve got some questions about this movie. At one point in time, Butler’s character acts like Heigl’s gay BFF and tells her how to get the man, since he knows what goes on in every man’s mind. But if he’s as macho and masculine as he says he is, why is he helping her get hair extensions, bra fittings, and a new dress? That doesn’t make sense. Speaking of which, why was Kevin Connelly featured in the opening credits? Granted, he’s the third most famous person in the movie, but why is someone who’s not even featured for longer than a cameo given relatively top billing?
There’s also lots of potty humor. Ordinarily, the more dirty jokes in a movie, the better for me. But not so much in a movie like this: for instance, you figure the f-bomb would be less abused in a chick flick as seemingly mild and predictable as this one initially appears. Apparently not. There’s also lots of talk of penises, a pair of vibrating panties worn to a dinner party, and even a scene where Heigl gets stuck in a tree, upside-down with her dress slid down to her face to reveal her sensible white underpants. To me, the humor is just plain schlocky and deliberate when it’s not being a giant dirty joke.
The plot is inevitable, formulaic, and predictable. The characters aren’t particularly endearing or believable. Heigl’s Abby comes across as stiff as a high school drama student and Butler’s Mike is an overblown, blustering ego (with a secret hurt deep inside to help explain the misogyny. Imagine that!). They soften as the movie progresses, but not truly to the point of believability. Put Butler back in Spartan armor or military fatigues where he belongs. I’ll believe that more than his story about a parade of women who broke his heart and made him the man he is.
As far as rom-coms go, this wasn’t one of the better ones. Wanna see a good movie in this genre with Katherine Heigl in it? Watch Knocked Up. She and Rogan are far more believable than she and Butler.
Monday, March 21, 2011
All About My Diet
I know a lot of people have asked me how I've managed to lose 50 lbs recently. I've been on a weight-loss system called Isagenix that seems to be the only thing to work for me. Ever. I've been on diets before where I lost 15, 20, even up to 30 lbs but never managed to keep it off. In fact, I gained back all of my deficit plus a bunch more. After the age of 30 and topping out at 275 lbs, I figured it all had to stop or I was headed for a heart attack and diabetes.
This is not an easy diet. It's hard to do sometimes, but it's also difficult to argue with the results. I've lost 50 lbs so far, my sister has gone from a size 14/16 to a 4, my mom has gone from a 26/28 to a 14, and Dad has gone from a 42" waist down to a 32. Dad has kept it off for nearly a year and my aunt has been even more successful. Those of my family who were diagnosed with diabetes were given a clean bill of health later. I was able to reduce my blood pressure medicine by half and my blood work came back perfect. Seriously. I've even got my cholesterol numbers right here:
Total Cholesterol was 151 (<200 mg/dl is desired).
HDL Cholesterol (the good kind) was at 50 (Desired is >40 and <60).
Triglycerides were at 119 (normal is <150 mg/dl).
LDL Cholesterol was 77 (<130 mg/dl is desired).
Non HDL was 101 (< or = 160 mg/dl is desired).
My TC/HDL ratio was 3.0 (< or = 4.5 is desired).
My doctor even wrote "Great!" next to my scores and told me if I was her kid, she'd be super proud of those scores. And in a couple of months when I go for my yearly check-up, I hope to hear more of the same.
Before everyone begins to think that this is a quick and painless way to lose weight, I'm here to tell you that nothing fits that bill. If something is too good to be true, it usually is. This diet is not for everyone. It's definitely not for people who have less than 20 lbs to lose. It's expensive and sometimes just plain unpleasant, but it's what's worked for me and my family. I was at a point in time in my life where I just couldn't keep doing the same thing to myself anymore. I had to find a way to lose weight and get on the road to being healthy, and so far this seems to be working.
The basic rules of Isagenix:
Eat nine times a day. No processed foods, organic foods are best, and only fresh or frozen produce (nothing canned). Low sodium. Cleanse two days a week (or 48 hours in a row). No caffeine. Natural sweeteners only. Drink as much water as you can a day. Herbal hot teas are ok. Lean beef, chicken, fish, bison, and other free-range, antibiotic-free all-natural meats are ok. No pork. One-inch cubes of full-fat cheese are ok. The only fruit allowed at first is Granny Smith apples because they're low on the glycemic scale. Vinegar is ok, Mrs. Dash is ok, small amounts of sea salt are ok. Olive oil is good. Unsalted almonds and Brazil nuts are permitted. One egg per day is the limit. Most veggies are ok, nothing too starchy or high in sugar like corn, peas, carrots, or potatoes. Limited amounts of tomatoes.
This program is pretty heavily dependent on the company's products, so it does get quite expensive. You have to find someone who sells the products, too (or hop on eBay and try to win them), you can't just order them from the company. Two meals a day must be replaced with either their shakes or bars. The shakes make me sick because they have lactase in them, so I have to have the bars. You have to take an all-natural Fat-Burning Accelerator twice a day and a capsule or two of Isaflush at night to make sure you stay regular. You take one shot glass of Ionix Supreme (a vitamin supplement) every night. During cleanse days, you have to drink their Cleanse for Life four times a day. You eat their Snacks--appetite suppressing wafers--six times a day and have the option of eating their Isadelights--dark chocolates infused with amino acids--once daily. When a box of bars lasts you one week and costs $35 and a bottle of powdered cleanse lasts the same and costs $40, you can see with just that much how the costs can be pretty oppressive. Fortunately Mom lets me pay her monthly.
Here's a typical week for me:
Sunday/Monday:
8:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
12:30 eat an Isadelight, follow with 8 oz water
1:30 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat a Snack, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
8:00 eat two almonds, drink hot herbal tea sweetened with Truvia
9:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 eat a snack, take Isaflush capsules, follow with 8 oz water (sometimes I drink less so I don't have a full bladder when I go to sleep)
This part of the diet is truly the hardest. You're only really getting about 250 calories on both days during the cleanse, so there's a good chance you'll feel tired, hungry, and generally miserable. This is also, however, where the majority of the weight loss comes in (which usually makes all that misery worth it). I tend to lose anywhere between 1 and 4 lbs during cleanse and tend to feel a lot better (cleaner and lighter, even) once it's over. True to its name, this system does clean you out. When I first started the diet, I had to be very careful on the second day of cleanse and not stray very far from the bathroom. Fortunately, my body got used to it after a while and I never had any accidents.
The rest of the week (Tuesday-Saturday):
8:00 eat meal replacement bar, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat boiled egg, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat SlimCake (high-fiber oatmeal cookie with cranberries), follow with 8 oz water
1:00 eat meal replacement bar, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat small Granny Smith apple, follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat small salad of spinach, green onions, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, and one tablespoon all-natural light dressing, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 eat steamed veggies and 4-6 oz grilled fish/turkey/chicken/beef/bison seasoned with Mrs. Dash, pepper, and a small amount of sea salt, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat two stalks of celery, follow with 8 oz water
9:00 eat one tablespoon cottage cheese and two almonds, drink shot glass of Ionix Supreme, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 take two Isaflush, follow with 8 oz water
It's important that you eat each and every time you are supposed to, even if you're not hungry. During those times, you can just pop a small piece of cheese or two almonds. You can switch around your meal and snack times a little, if you need to. I typically bring my bars with me to work since they're convenient and much easier to deal with than a piece of meat and a couple of cups of veggies.
They recommend you exercise at least 20 minutes a day and I have lately been exceeding that most of the week. I'm not able to do so during cleanse days, but I figure that's not a big deal since my calorie intake is so low. I drink about a gallon of water every day (I like to keep those one-liter Smartwater bottles on hand).
I've also had some trouble with constipation, but that's probably because I either overindulged on the cheese, didn't drink enough water, or missed my Isaflush. All easily fixed. If I was extra constipated, I could eat prunes and a little oatmeal or take laxatives. Never had a time when those remedies didn't eventually do their job.
This system takes weight off pretty quickly. I lost 8 lbs the first week and managed to lose 1 to 4 lbs almost every week thereafter. Forty days after you start the diet, your body switches from sugar-burning to fat-burning and burns nearly everything you put in it. The cleanse operates as a turbo-fueled boost that jump-starts your weight loss and helps clear out the crap that is released by your fat cells from years of food abuse. It's sort of like a clean slate at the end of every week. If you went out to eat and gained some water weight from high-sodium food, it helps flush it all out.
Speaking of going out to eat, you can find things that are ok to eat on the diet. Most places will accomodate you if you ask them to cook it with little or no salt. Olive Garden is especially good about special requests. But basically any place that has a grilled option with a side salad that isn't premixed with dressing or veggies that can be steamed without butter or salt is a great place to go.
After the first 40 days of the diet, I was able to have one day a week where I screwed up and ate something I wasn't supposed to, like sushi or some bread. I still lost weight, even if it wasn't as consistently as before. The real problem came when I went overboard on nearly everything during the holidays. I gained 9 lbs back and have had the hardest time trying to get them back off. It's March now and this week I'm finally going to break through my plateau. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sticking as closely to the diet as I can after this. What with the wedding coming up and trying on dresses in August, I'm going to need to be as faithful to this as I possibly can.
I've been on Isagenix since June of last year and intend on staying with it until I get down to a healthy size (after which I'll switch to a program like Weight Watchers that doesn't expect dependency on their products). What that healthy size is I'm not really sure since I've never been thin. I expect I'll want to lose another 100 lbs and then see where I feel the best.
So far, so good.
This is not an easy diet. It's hard to do sometimes, but it's also difficult to argue with the results. I've lost 50 lbs so far, my sister has gone from a size 14/16 to a 4, my mom has gone from a 26/28 to a 14, and Dad has gone from a 42" waist down to a 32. Dad has kept it off for nearly a year and my aunt has been even more successful. Those of my family who were diagnosed with diabetes were given a clean bill of health later. I was able to reduce my blood pressure medicine by half and my blood work came back perfect. Seriously. I've even got my cholesterol numbers right here:
Total Cholesterol was 151 (<200 mg/dl is desired).
HDL Cholesterol (the good kind) was at 50 (Desired is >40 and <60).
Triglycerides were at 119 (normal is <150 mg/dl).
LDL Cholesterol was 77 (<130 mg/dl is desired).
Non HDL was 101 (< or = 160 mg/dl is desired).
My TC/HDL ratio was 3.0 (< or = 4.5 is desired).
My doctor even wrote "Great!" next to my scores and told me if I was her kid, she'd be super proud of those scores. And in a couple of months when I go for my yearly check-up, I hope to hear more of the same.
Before everyone begins to think that this is a quick and painless way to lose weight, I'm here to tell you that nothing fits that bill. If something is too good to be true, it usually is. This diet is not for everyone. It's definitely not for people who have less than 20 lbs to lose. It's expensive and sometimes just plain unpleasant, but it's what's worked for me and my family. I was at a point in time in my life where I just couldn't keep doing the same thing to myself anymore. I had to find a way to lose weight and get on the road to being healthy, and so far this seems to be working.
The basic rules of Isagenix:
Eat nine times a day. No processed foods, organic foods are best, and only fresh or frozen produce (nothing canned). Low sodium. Cleanse two days a week (or 48 hours in a row). No caffeine. Natural sweeteners only. Drink as much water as you can a day. Herbal hot teas are ok. Lean beef, chicken, fish, bison, and other free-range, antibiotic-free all-natural meats are ok. No pork. One-inch cubes of full-fat cheese are ok. The only fruit allowed at first is Granny Smith apples because they're low on the glycemic scale. Vinegar is ok, Mrs. Dash is ok, small amounts of sea salt are ok. Olive oil is good. Unsalted almonds and Brazil nuts are permitted. One egg per day is the limit. Most veggies are ok, nothing too starchy or high in sugar like corn, peas, carrots, or potatoes. Limited amounts of tomatoes.
This program is pretty heavily dependent on the company's products, so it does get quite expensive. You have to find someone who sells the products, too (or hop on eBay and try to win them), you can't just order them from the company. Two meals a day must be replaced with either their shakes or bars. The shakes make me sick because they have lactase in them, so I have to have the bars. You have to take an all-natural Fat-Burning Accelerator twice a day and a capsule or two of Isaflush at night to make sure you stay regular. You take one shot glass of Ionix Supreme (a vitamin supplement) every night. During cleanse days, you have to drink their Cleanse for Life four times a day. You eat their Snacks--appetite suppressing wafers--six times a day and have the option of eating their Isadelights--dark chocolates infused with amino acids--once daily. When a box of bars lasts you one week and costs $35 and a bottle of powdered cleanse lasts the same and costs $40, you can see with just that much how the costs can be pretty oppressive. Fortunately Mom lets me pay her monthly.
Here's a typical week for me:
Sunday/Monday:
8:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
12:30 eat an Isadelight, follow with 8 oz water
1:30 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat a Snack, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
8:00 eat two almonds, drink hot herbal tea sweetened with Truvia
9:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 eat a snack, take Isaflush capsules, follow with 8 oz water (sometimes I drink less so I don't have a full bladder when I go to sleep)
This part of the diet is truly the hardest. You're only really getting about 250 calories on both days during the cleanse, so there's a good chance you'll feel tired, hungry, and generally miserable. This is also, however, where the majority of the weight loss comes in (which usually makes all that misery worth it). I tend to lose anywhere between 1 and 4 lbs during cleanse and tend to feel a lot better (cleaner and lighter, even) once it's over. True to its name, this system does clean you out. When I first started the diet, I had to be very careful on the second day of cleanse and not stray very far from the bathroom. Fortunately, my body got used to it after a while and I never had any accidents.
The rest of the week (Tuesday-Saturday):
8:00 eat meal replacement bar, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat boiled egg, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat SlimCake (high-fiber oatmeal cookie with cranberries), follow with 8 oz water
1:00 eat meal replacement bar, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat small Granny Smith apple, follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat small salad of spinach, green onions, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, and one tablespoon all-natural light dressing, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 eat steamed veggies and 4-6 oz grilled fish/turkey/chicken/beef/bison seasoned with Mrs. Dash, pepper, and a small amount of sea salt, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat two stalks of celery, follow with 8 oz water
9:00 eat one tablespoon cottage cheese and two almonds, drink shot glass of Ionix Supreme, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 take two Isaflush, follow with 8 oz water
It's important that you eat each and every time you are supposed to, even if you're not hungry. During those times, you can just pop a small piece of cheese or two almonds. You can switch around your meal and snack times a little, if you need to. I typically bring my bars with me to work since they're convenient and much easier to deal with than a piece of meat and a couple of cups of veggies.
They recommend you exercise at least 20 minutes a day and I have lately been exceeding that most of the week. I'm not able to do so during cleanse days, but I figure that's not a big deal since my calorie intake is so low. I drink about a gallon of water every day (I like to keep those one-liter Smartwater bottles on hand).
I've also had some trouble with constipation, but that's probably because I either overindulged on the cheese, didn't drink enough water, or missed my Isaflush. All easily fixed. If I was extra constipated, I could eat prunes and a little oatmeal or take laxatives. Never had a time when those remedies didn't eventually do their job.
This system takes weight off pretty quickly. I lost 8 lbs the first week and managed to lose 1 to 4 lbs almost every week thereafter. Forty days after you start the diet, your body switches from sugar-burning to fat-burning and burns nearly everything you put in it. The cleanse operates as a turbo-fueled boost that jump-starts your weight loss and helps clear out the crap that is released by your fat cells from years of food abuse. It's sort of like a clean slate at the end of every week. If you went out to eat and gained some water weight from high-sodium food, it helps flush it all out.
Speaking of going out to eat, you can find things that are ok to eat on the diet. Most places will accomodate you if you ask them to cook it with little or no salt. Olive Garden is especially good about special requests. But basically any place that has a grilled option with a side salad that isn't premixed with dressing or veggies that can be steamed without butter or salt is a great place to go.
After the first 40 days of the diet, I was able to have one day a week where I screwed up and ate something I wasn't supposed to, like sushi or some bread. I still lost weight, even if it wasn't as consistently as before. The real problem came when I went overboard on nearly everything during the holidays. I gained 9 lbs back and have had the hardest time trying to get them back off. It's March now and this week I'm finally going to break through my plateau. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sticking as closely to the diet as I can after this. What with the wedding coming up and trying on dresses in August, I'm going to need to be as faithful to this as I possibly can.
I've been on Isagenix since June of last year and intend on staying with it until I get down to a healthy size (after which I'll switch to a program like Weight Watchers that doesn't expect dependency on their products). What that healthy size is I'm not really sure since I've never been thin. I expect I'll want to lose another 100 lbs and then see where I feel the best.
So far, so good.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
23-hour day
I constantly wish that I had more time in the day to get things accomplished. I seem to be operating at a minimum right now. I don't get enough sleep, I haven't been able to finish reading a book in months, my house is a wreck, and I haven't been able to respond to any emails or messages that require a lot of thought and evaluation.
I can't blame Daylight Savings Time. It was true I lost an hour, but that was just for one night. It seems like somewhere hours upon hours are slipping silently into a big black hole.
I have a to-do list that I keep on the desktop of my phone that reminds me of all the things that need to be accomplished. Some of them are long-term items (like completing my CEs for my tech certification by July or gathering items to sell at our massive garage sale this summer) and some of them are daily goals (like exercising or blogging). Some things that are listed could be accomplished and permanently removed if I just had the time to slow down and actually do them. Some of them have been on there for over a month. Where the heck is all my time going?
I try to multi-task as much as possible. I iron or exercise while watching episodes of House so that my DVR doesn't fill up. I blog while the dishes are washing in the dishwasher. I file my nails while clearing things off of my streaming Netflix queue and clean my house while running the laundry. I feel like I'm doing what I can.
Maybe my expectations are too high in getting everything on that to-do list accomplished. Maybe I should take a week-long vacation where I get caught up on all the stuff I need to do. Maybe I should get in bed, go to sleep, and just start attacking the snot out of my list when I wake up (at a reasonable hour!) tomorrow morning. I'll blog my success or failure.
Or, rather, I'll blog my success. The lack of posts prior to this one already sort of admits my failure.
I can't blame Daylight Savings Time. It was true I lost an hour, but that was just for one night. It seems like somewhere hours upon hours are slipping silently into a big black hole.
I have a to-do list that I keep on the desktop of my phone that reminds me of all the things that need to be accomplished. Some of them are long-term items (like completing my CEs for my tech certification by July or gathering items to sell at our massive garage sale this summer) and some of them are daily goals (like exercising or blogging). Some things that are listed could be accomplished and permanently removed if I just had the time to slow down and actually do them. Some of them have been on there for over a month. Where the heck is all my time going?
I try to multi-task as much as possible. I iron or exercise while watching episodes of House so that my DVR doesn't fill up. I blog while the dishes are washing in the dishwasher. I file my nails while clearing things off of my streaming Netflix queue and clean my house while running the laundry. I feel like I'm doing what I can.
Maybe my expectations are too high in getting everything on that to-do list accomplished. Maybe I should take a week-long vacation where I get caught up on all the stuff I need to do. Maybe I should get in bed, go to sleep, and just start attacking the snot out of my list when I wake up (at a reasonable hour!) tomorrow morning. I'll blog my success or failure.
Or, rather, I'll blog my success. The lack of posts prior to this one already sort of admits my failure.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Exercise. You're right, it won't actually kill me!
I'm getting married in October: I have incentive. I've been on a diet since last June and have lost 50 lbs: I have the means. I haven't lost any more weight since I dropped 5 of the 9 lbs the holidays made me gain: I have frustration.
Something must be done. I can't fail at this diet when it clearly works for everyone in my family. (Seriously, everyone. My mom, dad, sister, aunt, brother-in-law, cousin, etc!) I have to figure out what I've been doing wrong or I'm going to be looking at a higher price tag for a plus-sized wedding dress. Smaller sizes are cheaper. It's just a fact of life.
The one huge reason I can think of why the diet just isn't working like it should be is my lack of exercise. I always seem to find an excuse, always seem to run out of time or not feel up to it. I've needed some way to make that time for myself and keep myself interested in my progress. Some way to make it fun.
Cue my new phone with a really cool exercise app (Cardio Trainer), and I have instant motivation. If I can make a game or a mini-competition out of anything, it'll help me get off my sedentary heinie. It marks my progress, shows me where I walked, my pace, my calorie gain, and how long I exercised for. You can set it to automatically play the music saved in your mp3 list when you start your workout, you can make it announce key milestones in a lovely British voice, you can have it post to several networking communities (I chose Facebook), and you can also make it display a little badge of calories burned per week on the desktop of your phone. So cute and empowering!
So far, it's keeping me motivated. Tonight I did over 300 calories and managed to earn my 500 calorie badge. I actually stopped at 200-something and realized all I had to do was another 11 to reach my next accomplishment and continued until I reached 114 instead. It gave me the will to push past my tiredness and achieve my next goal. And it was fun.
It has its disadvantages, but so far they're minor. I checked the calorie counter against the piece of equipment I was working out on and at one point in time the app drastically slowed down its recording. I assume it can be fixed by rebooting my phone or uninstalling/reinstalling the app. If it doesn't, I can either find a new one or assume all my workouts are relative and it's the results that count the most. Which actually doesn't sound like too bad of an idea. I don't feel my motivation slipping any. I'll keep everyone updated.
So this October? Hellooo less expensive wedding dress. Goodbye inactivity.
Something must be done. I can't fail at this diet when it clearly works for everyone in my family. (Seriously, everyone. My mom, dad, sister, aunt, brother-in-law, cousin, etc!) I have to figure out what I've been doing wrong or I'm going to be looking at a higher price tag for a plus-sized wedding dress. Smaller sizes are cheaper. It's just a fact of life.
The one huge reason I can think of why the diet just isn't working like it should be is my lack of exercise. I always seem to find an excuse, always seem to run out of time or not feel up to it. I've needed some way to make that time for myself and keep myself interested in my progress. Some way to make it fun.
Cue my new phone with a really cool exercise app (Cardio Trainer), and I have instant motivation. If I can make a game or a mini-competition out of anything, it'll help me get off my sedentary heinie. It marks my progress, shows me where I walked, my pace, my calorie gain, and how long I exercised for. You can set it to automatically play the music saved in your mp3 list when you start your workout, you can make it announce key milestones in a lovely British voice, you can have it post to several networking communities (I chose Facebook), and you can also make it display a little badge of calories burned per week on the desktop of your phone. So cute and empowering!
So far, it's keeping me motivated. Tonight I did over 300 calories and managed to earn my 500 calorie badge. I actually stopped at 200-something and realized all I had to do was another 11 to reach my next accomplishment and continued until I reached 114 instead. It gave me the will to push past my tiredness and achieve my next goal. And it was fun.
It has its disadvantages, but so far they're minor. I checked the calorie counter against the piece of equipment I was working out on and at one point in time the app drastically slowed down its recording. I assume it can be fixed by rebooting my phone or uninstalling/reinstalling the app. If it doesn't, I can either find a new one or assume all my workouts are relative and it's the results that count the most. Which actually doesn't sound like too bad of an idea. I don't feel my motivation slipping any. I'll keep everyone updated.
So this October? Hellooo less expensive wedding dress. Goodbye inactivity.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Nerddom during Lent
Every year I struggle with what to give up. Sometimes I give up things that don't have any real significance and end up doing them or using them or consuming them again within days of my resolve. I'm not proud to admit it, but sometimes I've picked the easiest thing for me to give up instead of something that would take true sacrifice and commitment to the true meaning of the Easter season.
So what did I give up this year? Neopets.
I swear this has been one of the most difficult things I have given up to date, including chocolate.
To let you know what kind of a nerd I am, since about 1999 I have been playing Neopets online. (I started this game in my early 20s--I have a longevity badge on my profile that says "8 years" and this is my second account.) If you've ever seen it, it's a website where you can have your own virtual pets (up to four) that you can feed, play with, dress, have adventures with, etc. Yes, I said "have adventures with" (nerd quotient increase +2). There are lots of flashgames to play and you earn points for playing each of them. There are competitions, free items to win, even a stock market and different worlds to visit on and off the planet. Since different things happen at different times of the day, it's an incentive to visit not only every day, but multiple times a day.
Because I'm a points hoarder, I currently have 1.4 million neopoints in my account, which has been the accumulation of my entire 8 years of playing with this set of neopets. Needless to say, it's great fun, addictive, and a huuuuuge time-waster. Also why I chose this particular obsession of mine as the one thing I'd give up for Lent. And holy smokes, has it been hard.
For one thing, my fiance recently started a new account. He's like me, a points hoarder. He likes to pick up valuable items for free and sell them in his shop. He plays many of the games and has slowly been building his Neopoints balance. He's already at 100,000. He says he's going to catch up with me in no time, which I take as a challenge. That I currently cannot take part in. Do you see, people? Do you see how frustrating this is? (And what a giant nerd I am...?)
Now, my pets won't starve... at least, not for four weeks... I've enrolled them in a Neolodge for the duration. Kind of sucks that Lent is 40 days instead of 28, but maybe I can get Rich to log into my account and just feed them once a dayyyohhhmyGOD I'M OBSESSED. *heaving breaths*
Ok. I can do this. I can do this.
I am a grown woman playing a game that is very popular for tweens. I can give it up anytime I want to. Lent is a good reason to give it up, and it's only 40 days. And Rich will feed them when they come out of the Neolodge. And I will find more productive things to do with my time.
Like watching Fraggle Rock on Netflix streaming.
So what did I give up this year? Neopets.
I swear this has been one of the most difficult things I have given up to date, including chocolate.
To let you know what kind of a nerd I am, since about 1999 I have been playing Neopets online. (I started this game in my early 20s--I have a longevity badge on my profile that says "8 years" and this is my second account.) If you've ever seen it, it's a website where you can have your own virtual pets (up to four) that you can feed, play with, dress, have adventures with, etc. Yes, I said "have adventures with" (nerd quotient increase +2). There are lots of flashgames to play and you earn points for playing each of them. There are competitions, free items to win, even a stock market and different worlds to visit on and off the planet. Since different things happen at different times of the day, it's an incentive to visit not only every day, but multiple times a day.
Because I'm a points hoarder, I currently have 1.4 million neopoints in my account, which has been the accumulation of my entire 8 years of playing with this set of neopets. Needless to say, it's great fun, addictive, and a huuuuuge time-waster. Also why I chose this particular obsession of mine as the one thing I'd give up for Lent. And holy smokes, has it been hard.
For one thing, my fiance recently started a new account. He's like me, a points hoarder. He likes to pick up valuable items for free and sell them in his shop. He plays many of the games and has slowly been building his Neopoints balance. He's already at 100,000. He says he's going to catch up with me in no time, which I take as a challenge. That I currently cannot take part in. Do you see, people? Do you see how frustrating this is? (And what a giant nerd I am...?)
Now, my pets won't starve... at least, not for four weeks... I've enrolled them in a Neolodge for the duration. Kind of sucks that Lent is 40 days instead of 28, but maybe I can get Rich to log into my account and just feed them once a dayyyohhhmyGOD I'M OBSESSED. *heaving breaths*
Ok. I can do this. I can do this.
I am a grown woman playing a game that is very popular for tweens. I can give it up anytime I want to. Lent is a good reason to give it up, and it's only 40 days. And Rich will feed them when they come out of the Neolodge. And I will find more productive things to do with my time.
Like watching Fraggle Rock on Netflix streaming.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Blog: the Evolution
Blogging isn't actually new to me. I have a Livejournal account that I still occasionally use, albeit far less frequently than I used to. It's sort of an electronic memoir of a past failed relationship, from the love-blinded beginning to its eventual demise. There are lots of details I left out, not because they were too intimate to record, but because I tend to use the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality for things that pain me the most. If I don't write a lot of it down and have a record of how much it hurt, I can more easily forget about it and move on with my life.
And boy, did I ever move on with my life. My ex, however, is not able to do so. I know this because the last few times he contacted me, I told him I wished him well. He wished the exact opposite for me. Strangely enough, I still wish him well. Too bad he'll probably never forgive himself enough to accept my wish for his happiness. Is it naive of me to feel that if I can be this happy, everyone deserves to be so?
But: back to blogging. When I lived in Virginia, I won second place in a spelling bee in the 5th grade. My mom didn't congratulate me for doing a great job, she asked me why I didn't win. My hurt feelings translated into a semi-autobiographical account of a little girl failing to win a spelling bee against heavily stacked odds. I think it was titled, "I'm Not Perfect!" or something, which was highly reminiscent of an after-school special. But it was what I knew, and in the guise of a childishly concocted story, it was really my first attempt at blogging (minus the "web" and "logging" bits).
Somewhere in middle school, I tried writing in a diary. I love all things tiny, and my 3" x 2" diary with a wee little key was no exception. I poured my adolescent heart out into the miniature pages in a cramped, squint-inducing hand. I wrote about creative ideas I had, mean kids, crushes, etc. (Which sort of tells me I haven't really evolved much.) I remember most of a poem I wrote to a bully who used to verbally abuse me on a daily basis. This was 7th or 8th grade, I think. (Name changed to separate a mean bully from some seriously bad rhymes.)
Quality poetry, right?
I'm sure I felt angry poetry written in a tiny diary with a tiny lock was the only real recourse I had against this kid. He was unfailingly mean about my weight, my looks, my clothing, anything he could get a latch on. And I had the misfortune of sharing an assigned seat with him. I had yet to develop either a sense of humor pithy enough to turn a joke on him or a sense of self-worth high enough to approach the teacher to get a seat reassignment. (I seem to remember being afraid of that teacher for some reason.) So here I was, stuck with this poor excuse for a tween at a tiny round table, resorting to silly poetry in 3-mm handwriting. But at least I got my feelings out on paper. The written word always seems to have been soothing for me.
Let's move on, shall we?
In high school I kept a notebook of ideas, short stories, and poems. None of them were autobiographical, but they all expressed my need to put my thoughts down and say what I wanted to say. I think I only ever showed them to my friend Apryll when we were bored to tears in Algebra class. I also delved into the world of poetry toward the end of high school and the beginning of college, and lots of what I wrote was thinky-feely, too. I wrote a poem called "Gilded Box of Memories" that later got published in a hokey Poetry.com competition. Re-reading it makes me wince a little.
(Guess what! It's still online: http://www.beamrider.com/songnest/songpoems.html#Gilded)
Somewhere around 2002 I started my Livejournal. It's been with me, on and off, since then--which is possibly the longest I've ever kept a journal of some kind. But hopefully, with the establishment of this blog, I'll be more likely to post my thoughts and write something almost every day.
I have essays I want to write, experiences I want to remember, things that need to be expressed. I have so much to say...!
And boy, did I ever move on with my life. My ex, however, is not able to do so. I know this because the last few times he contacted me, I told him I wished him well. He wished the exact opposite for me. Strangely enough, I still wish him well. Too bad he'll probably never forgive himself enough to accept my wish for his happiness. Is it naive of me to feel that if I can be this happy, everyone deserves to be so?
But: back to blogging. When I lived in Virginia, I won second place in a spelling bee in the 5th grade. My mom didn't congratulate me for doing a great job, she asked me why I didn't win. My hurt feelings translated into a semi-autobiographical account of a little girl failing to win a spelling bee against heavily stacked odds. I think it was titled, "I'm Not Perfect!" or something, which was highly reminiscent of an after-school special. But it was what I knew, and in the guise of a childishly concocted story, it was really my first attempt at blogging (minus the "web" and "logging" bits).
Somewhere in middle school, I tried writing in a diary. I love all things tiny, and my 3" x 2" diary with a wee little key was no exception. I poured my adolescent heart out into the miniature pages in a cramped, squint-inducing hand. I wrote about creative ideas I had, mean kids, crushes, etc. (Which sort of tells me I haven't really evolved much.) I remember most of a poem I wrote to a bully who used to verbally abuse me on a daily basis. This was 7th or 8th grade, I think. (Name changed to separate a mean bully from some seriously bad rhymes.)
Ken Blankenship is really bad
The worst enemy I've ever had
He insults me and makes me mad
(Something, something that ends in sad)
So here's what I say, you piece of poo
I hate your guts, and piss on you!
Quality poetry, right?
I'm sure I felt angry poetry written in a tiny diary with a tiny lock was the only real recourse I had against this kid. He was unfailingly mean about my weight, my looks, my clothing, anything he could get a latch on. And I had the misfortune of sharing an assigned seat with him. I had yet to develop either a sense of humor pithy enough to turn a joke on him or a sense of self-worth high enough to approach the teacher to get a seat reassignment. (I seem to remember being afraid of that teacher for some reason.) So here I was, stuck with this poor excuse for a tween at a tiny round table, resorting to silly poetry in 3-mm handwriting. But at least I got my feelings out on paper. The written word always seems to have been soothing for me.
Let's move on, shall we?
In high school I kept a notebook of ideas, short stories, and poems. None of them were autobiographical, but they all expressed my need to put my thoughts down and say what I wanted to say. I think I only ever showed them to my friend Apryll when we were bored to tears in Algebra class. I also delved into the world of poetry toward the end of high school and the beginning of college, and lots of what I wrote was thinky-feely, too. I wrote a poem called "Gilded Box of Memories" that later got published in a hokey Poetry.com competition. Re-reading it makes me wince a little.
(Guess what! It's still online: http://www.beamrider.com/songnest/songpoems.html#Gilded)
Somewhere around 2002 I started my Livejournal. It's been with me, on and off, since then--which is possibly the longest I've ever kept a journal of some kind. But hopefully, with the establishment of this blog, I'll be more likely to post my thoughts and write something almost every day.
I have essays I want to write, experiences I want to remember, things that need to be expressed. I have so much to say...!
Friday, March 11, 2011
What I'm currently reading...
I've been trying my hardest to get into Stephenie Meyer's The Host. I just can't seem to get motivated to read it. I usually fly through books if I have the opportunity, and this one has been sitting in my living room--virtually untouched--for weeks. When the Twilight saga came out and everyone started reading it, I was able to get through it relatively quickly. Probably because I was bound and determined not to have anyone ruin it for me by overhearing something they were discussing at work. And almost everyone I knew, across the board, had devoured the series and loved it. SOOO much.
I found myself (and I hope my sister doesn't disown me after this) somewhat underwhelmed by the rambling, somewhat overly romantic stylings of Ms. Meyer. Dare I say it, my belief wasn't even suspended! Darn right that vampire was fictional. Not even my fiance waxes poetic the way Edward did. What saved the story for me, I think, was the modern setting. If she had opted to set her story in the past the way most of Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire novels had been, it would have felt utterly anachronistic. Ms. Meyer's sensibilities in terms of character-driven thought processes are firmly planted in the here and now.
The Host is, unfortunately, in a futuristic setting. She's still writing like Twilight, but this book centers around a bunch of alien-infested human hosts and the possibility of the last few un-infested hold-outs. The setting is different, but the overly romantic verbal posturing is still there. My hopes aren't too high that I'll be able to breeze through this one: no one else I know is reading it, so I don't have any real reason to speed my way through it.
Hopefully somewhere in there will be a decent plot and some good action. For right now, these first 90 some-odd pages are a real slog. And I still have another 500-plus to go. I'll post my findings once I figure out whether I like this book or not. And I will finish it, regardless.
I found myself (and I hope my sister doesn't disown me after this) somewhat underwhelmed by the rambling, somewhat overly romantic stylings of Ms. Meyer. Dare I say it, my belief wasn't even suspended! Darn right that vampire was fictional. Not even my fiance waxes poetic the way Edward did. What saved the story for me, I think, was the modern setting. If she had opted to set her story in the past the way most of Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire novels had been, it would have felt utterly anachronistic. Ms. Meyer's sensibilities in terms of character-driven thought processes are firmly planted in the here and now.
The Host is, unfortunately, in a futuristic setting. She's still writing like Twilight, but this book centers around a bunch of alien-infested human hosts and the possibility of the last few un-infested hold-outs. The setting is different, but the overly romantic verbal posturing is still there. My hopes aren't too high that I'll be able to breeze through this one: no one else I know is reading it, so I don't have any real reason to speed my way through it.
Hopefully somewhere in there will be a decent plot and some good action. For right now, these first 90 some-odd pages are a real slog. And I still have another 500-plus to go. I'll post my findings once I figure out whether I like this book or not. And I will finish it, regardless.
Boy, have I gotten a late start...
From the beginning, what I wanted primarily to do with this blog was get in the habit of writing every day. It was my first New Year's Resolution this year. And it's what, almost the middle of March? I'm late. Incredibly late, I know. But "late" isn't exactly a foreign concept to me. For one thing, I'm 32 years old and am engaged to be married for the first time. It took me 12 years to graduate from college. I still have a baby tooth that never fell out to make way for an adult molar. I figure part of me just likes to take the scenic route.
I also wanted to make this blog into the record of what I'm doing. I've always sort of found comfort in the minutia of everyday living. The books I read, the thoughts I think, the dinner I eat, the television I watch (or don't watch, as the case usually is). It helps me know that, since I have something of a routine, I'm normal. Normalcy is not to be overrated.
I've got lots to say... just remains to be seen if I've got the time to say it. But I shouldn't sell myself short; if I truly try to make the effort, I'm pretty sure I can at least allow this blog to sort of limber up my thoughts and get them to spin around like I've pushed "frappe" on the blender. Then the resulting thought juice can spiral down through my body and shoot out my fingertips to land--in order--on the monitor. Via the keyboard, of course.
What was that I said about normalcy...?
I also wanted to make this blog into the record of what I'm doing. I've always sort of found comfort in the minutia of everyday living. The books I read, the thoughts I think, the dinner I eat, the television I watch (or don't watch, as the case usually is). It helps me know that, since I have something of a routine, I'm normal. Normalcy is not to be overrated.
I've got lots to say... just remains to be seen if I've got the time to say it. But I shouldn't sell myself short; if I truly try to make the effort, I'm pretty sure I can at least allow this blog to sort of limber up my thoughts and get them to spin around like I've pushed "frappe" on the blender. Then the resulting thought juice can spiral down through my body and shoot out my fingertips to land--in order--on the monitor. Via the keyboard, of course.
What was that I said about normalcy...?
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