Year before last, I tried a diet (Isagenix). I lost 50 lbs on it relatively quickly. I hated it. I hated being dependent on their products. I hated how expensive everything was. I hated every weekend of regular fasting. I felt hungry, tired, miserable, and cranky. I initially considered it my penance for treating my body so badly all of my life, but after about half a year of torturing myself weekly, I couldn't justify it anymore. I failed miserably on the diet during the holidays of 2010 and never lost any weight after that. I tried to get back on track numerous times, but could never move past the grudging hate I came to feel for those 48 consecutive hours of weekly fasting. My father, mother, sister, and aunt have all done well on Isagenix, losing anywhere from 40 to 90 lbs and keeping it off. I couldn't do it.
Last year, sometime after I got engaged in January and before I got married in October, I decided that I was going to stop doing Isagenix. I've never felt so great about any dieting decision I have ever made in my entire life. Despite knowing I would be at a higher weight and a higher dress size for my wedding, I still felt relieved and excited about never having to torture myself again. I stopped the diet and gained 15 lbs back. I attended my wedding in a plus-sized wedding dress, but you couldn't have found a happier bride. I felt beautiful and confident. I've played this game before of diet, weight, guilt, and stress and I was bound and determined this wasn't going to ruin my day. And it didn't.
However, I came back from the honeymoon nearly 10 lbs heavier. I ate whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. I relaxed a lot and exercised little. It was a week of poor behavior distillation: all the bad stuff I've ever done regarding food was done in large quantities for a week. My reasoning was I would only get married and have this type of honeymoon once. I might as well do whatever I want because I'd never get the chance to do it again. When I got back, I wrote a list of every terrible thing I consumed during that week to tell me that overindulgence of that type and in that quantity should not be repeated. I hung that list on the refrigerator as a reminder not to do it again. It worked somewhat; I lost 5 lbs of the weight I gained during the honeymoon and have had no desire to go buy a pie and eat the whole thing. But during the holidays I managed to eat far more than I should have and came away from the festivities of my birthday and Christmas with those 5 lbs regained and my pants getting dangerously tight.
Enter the New Year. I can't remember a time when weight loss wasn't my foremost resolution. I've lost on multiple diets over the course of the majority of my life. Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, Isagenix... I've lost weight on all of them. Also--obviously--I've never managed to keep the weight off. In some cases, it was the fault of the diet: it never taught me how to eat and live like an normal human being. (Isagenix especially. They want you to use their products for the rest of your life. I don't have that kind of money.) But in most other instances, the fault was mine. I wasn't really ready to stick with a plan for rest of my life. Food was a huge draw for me. And so was the pressure to lose a very appreciable amount of weight nearly immediately.
I've discovered that I need to drastically alter my thinking about weight loss. I'm no longer interested in losing a large quantity of weight in a small amount of time. Especially not after reading an article in the New York Times (The Fat Trap) that described how the body will fight to stay at a higher weight even after you've already lost it. If you've been heavy most of your life, your body will make it incredibly hard to lose weight and incredibly easy to put it on. It will take years of struggling, decisiveness, hard work, and vigilance to do what some people who have never been heavy can do naturally. It's certainly off-putting and can be a deal-breaker for anyone wanting to start a diet with the hopes that it can finally help them reach their goal of a normal weight range. However, the article says that the dieters who lost the weight did so with low-calorie diets and lots of exercise. They lost a lot of weight quickly. They haven't completed studies that track individuals who lose weight slowly over a long period of time. If that's the trick to keeping the weight off, I think I'm ready.
I was initially going to do Weight Watchers, but after thinking about how much it was going to cost, I determined that we can't afford it right now. I'm going to give myself two weeks to try a different method, and if I can successfully lose weight on it, then I'll stick with that. If not, I'll find a way to budget for WW and go with that instead.
So far I've signed up for My Fitness Pal. I use it on my phone to track food, exercise, weight loss, and measurements. It has a UPC code scanning function that makes it easy to add things to my daily food log. I can also search from a comprehensive list of foods, add calories without doing a food search, and add recipes to determine how many calories are in a single serving. It keeps track of nutrition information and allows you to add friends. My husband joined so that we could both work towards being healthier. (If anything, I think this could be the ticket to me sticking with this plan.)
I've also been reading the library of health-related articles at Spark People. While My Fitness Pal gives me the format to keep track of everything that goes into my body, Spark People gives me all the information I need to make sure what I put in there is a smart choice.
Spark People gives me insights into how to eat like a normal person. It tells me how to lose the weight and not develop unhealthy habits and disorders. It gives excellent advice on the types of foods to eat lots of, exercises to do, how to keep yourself on track, and what to do if you royally screw up. This is a remarkable change from what I've tried to do in the past. Before, the diet stipulated what I could and could not eat. It never gave me the freedom to make my own decisions, thus omitting teaching me how to deal with all kinds of foods in every situation. I love food. I like the experience of eating. I need to know how I can still love to eat and love the foods I eat while losing weight and keeping it off. When I'm told not to touch carbs or to stay away from anything that isn't organic, that's not telling me how to live. That's telling me how to eat a very narrow set of food parameters that will ultimately make me unsatisfied with my choices and cause me to cheat just to expand my variety. Spark People is an excellent resource for me because it tells me not to give up anything. It tells me to have a small amount every week, which helps prevent binge eating and cravings. It also tells me to eat more of the good stuff like vegetables and lean proteins and whole grains, because these things will naturally make me fuller and less likely to want large quantities of the bad stuff. That's a way of eating that I can live with.
There are going to be multiple components to my lifestyle change. This week is all about food for me. I'm developing the habit of making sure I log everything I put in my mouth. Next week I'll start incorporating regular exercise. Just cardio at first. After another week, I'm going to try mixing strength-training into my weekly routine. Just baby steps. And hopefully my new commitment will stick. I want to be accountable and make sure that I can keep moving forward, keep searching within, and keep forgiving myself so that I never have to make this a resolution again. It'll just be part of my everyday life.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Saturday, May 21, 2011
You take the seeds, I'll handle the bullets.
Every year my folks have a garden. They typically grow tomatoes, squash, zucchini, cucumbers, pole beans, sugar pod peas, bell peppers, onions, and spinach. Dad always has a grapevine. This year they're also growing onions, a couple of different types of tomatoes, and several more varities of peppers. They usually share with me because they always have surplus. This works out well for me because I have a permanent black thumb.
Black thumb = problem. Big problem. Apparently I inherited none of their plant intuition. I don't automatically know how wet or dry the soil needs to be, how much sunshine the plant needs, or when to make googly voices at it while I stroke its leaves (unless it's "never"). All of my plants have either suffered from root rot from overzealous hydration or have dried to a crisp before I've remembered to water them. Over the years my garbage has been a sad graveyard for plants that I've managed to torture out of existence. (Now pets? No problem. At least, if I forget to feed them one day they always remind me to feed them by the time the second day rolls around. Always).
I am terrified anytime a new plant makes its unlucky way into my household. For instance, a lovely customer of the pharmacy gave us a plant to show his gratitude. Just about everyone forgot to water it except me and our morning cashier. It also developed a sort of gangsta lean to one side because the top of the plant was so much heavier than the root ball (and the pot it was in was too small for the plant to survive). Still, it managed to grow a few tiny orange blossoms in its environment of air conditioning and artificial light. It was adorable and sad. I felt badly for it and brought it home (dun-dun-duuuuuuuun). I found out it was a succulent called a Flaming Katy (probably because of the blazingly bright flowers it produces) and then named it Herman. I called Mom for pointers and she assured me that they're nearly impossible to kill, which is good for me. Bad for the plant, because this ensures a particularly long period of torture. Poor Herman should have been left in his too-small pot in his artificial environment with a cash register stylus stuck into the soil to prop him up. Even with a new clay pot to live in and fresh topsoil to stretch his roots into, he looks worse than ever. Somehow, the topsoil I gave him had gnat eggs in it. Those have all hatched and fly around him like filthy little sattelites, despite several attempts to squish them all or drown them to death. His flowers have since fallen off and his new offshoots have shriveled into themselves. I have no clue what all is wrong with him. I give it maybe another month.
Why can't I successfully grow houseplants? Why? My eyes send a signal to my brain that they're cheerful and terribly pretty. My brain then sends a signal down to my psycho serial killer black thumb to make this a quick one. We haven't got all week to wait for this thing to die.
I love vegetables, too. And this diet I'm on desperately wants me to eat organic, which is--sadly--notoriously expensive. (Have I mentioned yet that I'm broke? It takes over $50 to fill a tank of gas. I'm getting married in October and we're funding almost all of it ourselves. I will be paying off my student loans until I'm dead.) So I guess the more I can save money by eating free or cheap things, the better. Thank God for parents that grow yummy free things. And for farmer's markets that help support local farmers. They're not as cheap as free, but the money goes to an excellent cause. Not to mention produce from small farms tastes better than anything you could ever get at a grocery store or chain. All fantastic for someone like me whose thumb can't wait to choke the life out of another leafy potted thing.
With that in mind, when the Zombie Apocalypse starts I will be unable to help the community by raising crops or slaughtering animals. My contribution will be as marksman. Thank God I'm a pretty decent shot.
Black thumb = problem. Big problem. Apparently I inherited none of their plant intuition. I don't automatically know how wet or dry the soil needs to be, how much sunshine the plant needs, or when to make googly voices at it while I stroke its leaves (unless it's "never"). All of my plants have either suffered from root rot from overzealous hydration or have dried to a crisp before I've remembered to water them. Over the years my garbage has been a sad graveyard for plants that I've managed to torture out of existence. (Now pets? No problem. At least, if I forget to feed them one day they always remind me to feed them by the time the second day rolls around. Always).
I am terrified anytime a new plant makes its unlucky way into my household. For instance, a lovely customer of the pharmacy gave us a plant to show his gratitude. Just about everyone forgot to water it except me and our morning cashier. It also developed a sort of gangsta lean to one side because the top of the plant was so much heavier than the root ball (and the pot it was in was too small for the plant to survive). Still, it managed to grow a few tiny orange blossoms in its environment of air conditioning and artificial light. It was adorable and sad. I felt badly for it and brought it home (dun-dun-duuuuuuuun). I found out it was a succulent called a Flaming Katy (probably because of the blazingly bright flowers it produces) and then named it Herman. I called Mom for pointers and she assured me that they're nearly impossible to kill, which is good for me. Bad for the plant, because this ensures a particularly long period of torture. Poor Herman should have been left in his too-small pot in his artificial environment with a cash register stylus stuck into the soil to prop him up. Even with a new clay pot to live in and fresh topsoil to stretch his roots into, he looks worse than ever. Somehow, the topsoil I gave him had gnat eggs in it. Those have all hatched and fly around him like filthy little sattelites, despite several attempts to squish them all or drown them to death. His flowers have since fallen off and his new offshoots have shriveled into themselves. I have no clue what all is wrong with him. I give it maybe another month.
Why can't I successfully grow houseplants? Why? My eyes send a signal to my brain that they're cheerful and terribly pretty. My brain then sends a signal down to my psycho serial killer black thumb to make this a quick one. We haven't got all week to wait for this thing to die.
I love vegetables, too. And this diet I'm on desperately wants me to eat organic, which is--sadly--notoriously expensive. (Have I mentioned yet that I'm broke? It takes over $50 to fill a tank of gas. I'm getting married in October and we're funding almost all of it ourselves. I will be paying off my student loans until I'm dead.) So I guess the more I can save money by eating free or cheap things, the better. Thank God for parents that grow yummy free things. And for farmer's markets that help support local farmers. They're not as cheap as free, but the money goes to an excellent cause. Not to mention produce from small farms tastes better than anything you could ever get at a grocery store or chain. All fantastic for someone like me whose thumb can't wait to choke the life out of another leafy potted thing.
With that in mind, when the Zombie Apocalypse starts I will be unable to help the community by raising crops or slaughtering animals. My contribution will be as marksman. Thank God I'm a pretty decent shot.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Weight-Loss Competition Rules and Letter of Welcome
Welcome competitors, to our 13-week weight-loss competition! It will last from May 1st, 2011 until August 1st, 2011--effectively 13 weeks.
The point of this competition is, first and foremost, a way for us to encourage ourselves to get healthy and lose weight. At the same time, I would hope we could encourage each other to eat better, be more active, and live a healthy lifestyle. Wouldn't it feel good to serve as inspiration for other individuals and to be considered great role models? Not to mention how great we'll look and feel once the competition is done! Each of us has our individual motivations to achieve our own good health, and I firmly believe in the strength of numbers. Where one of us might be struggling with our progress while dieting and exercising on our own, maybe a whole group of us who all have the same goal can provide the inspiration for us to do what we could not by ourselves!
The fee for competing is $10. Everyone will need to get their money to me by May 15th. This will give all of you plenty of time to set the money aside and either bring it to me in person or mail it to me. If you need any of my contact info, message me on Facebook or email me at amy.baltz@gmail.com. If you cannot get the $10 entry fee to me within the allotted time you will not be allowed to compete. Adversely, once you have paid your $10, the money cannot be refunded unless you have extenuating circumstances that prevent you from participating. Once the competition is over, the prize money will be given to the winner no later than August 15th, 2011.
Our first weigh-in will be Sunday, May 1st and the results posted on Monday, May 2nd at the latest. The last weigh-in will be Sunday, July 31st, and the results of the whole competition posted Monday, August 1st. We will be weighing in every Sunday. I will need your weight by the end of that day. The earlier, the better. Please try to use the same scale each week and weigh yourself at the same time every Sunday. Feel free to send me a message on Facebook, text me, email me, call me, or tell me in person. There are many ways to get in contact with me, so there should be no problems in getting me your weight on time every week. If you absolutely cannot get to your scale or if it breaks and you have to buy a new one, please let me know ahead of time.
You are allowed to use any diet and exercise method you like, as long as it is safe and healthy. Use of medical appetite suppressants, commercial laxatives, diuretics (except in case of medical necessity), energy drinks, and the over-the-counter drug Alli are not allowed. These would be considered an unfair advantage for anyone using them. Natural supplements and vitamins are okay. Surgical procedures such as gastric bypass, lap-band, and liposuction are automatic disqualifiers. If you have any questions about what might or might not be allowed during the competition, do not hesitate to ask.
A lot of this competition is based on honesty. I won't be able to see some of you on a daily or even weekly basis, so I will have to take your word for it when you tell me how much you've lost and that you have done so legally. Please be honest in your methods and in the accuracy of your progress. Last time I hosted a competition, the very first week a contestant lost 8 lbs. That type of weight loss is not impossible to obtain during the first week, but if it had continued every week, the red flag would have been raised and I would have needed greater proof that it was legitimately achieved (for instance, before and after pictures with a displayed time stamp). Please do not be offended if I ask you for proof should your weight loss produce vastly significant numbers every week. I am just trying to make sure your progress is accurate.
To make the playing field as even as possible, our weight loss will be measured by percentage of weight lost, not by pounds. That way a larger person who loses more weight will have no greater impact than a smaller person who loses less weight. The formula for calculating weight loss percentage is as follows:
We will not be posting our weights publicly, so those of you who are sensitive, don't worry! I will create a closed group on Facebook that will house all of our information and weekly progress. You may all post in the group if you like with comments, topics, photos, recipes, graphs, etc, but please use common courtesy. Playful trash talking is ok, but emphatic put-downs, spamming, flaming, and inappropriate use of the group will not be tolerated. I will moderate the group and make sure the rules are being followed to the best of my abilities. I promise I will be as fair as possible.
Do not hesitate to contact me regarding the rules or to ask questions about anything. Additionally, if you know of anyone who might want to participate, please direct them to this blog post or send them my email! The deadline to sign up is Sunday, April 30, at 11:59 pm!
I wish each and every one of you the best of luck in our competition! Here's to good health!
The point of this competition is, first and foremost, a way for us to encourage ourselves to get healthy and lose weight. At the same time, I would hope we could encourage each other to eat better, be more active, and live a healthy lifestyle. Wouldn't it feel good to serve as inspiration for other individuals and to be considered great role models? Not to mention how great we'll look and feel once the competition is done! Each of us has our individual motivations to achieve our own good health, and I firmly believe in the strength of numbers. Where one of us might be struggling with our progress while dieting and exercising on our own, maybe a whole group of us who all have the same goal can provide the inspiration for us to do what we could not by ourselves!
The fee for competing is $10. Everyone will need to get their money to me by May 15th. This will give all of you plenty of time to set the money aside and either bring it to me in person or mail it to me. If you need any of my contact info, message me on Facebook or email me at amy.baltz@gmail.com. If you cannot get the $10 entry fee to me within the allotted time you will not be allowed to compete. Adversely, once you have paid your $10, the money cannot be refunded unless you have extenuating circumstances that prevent you from participating. Once the competition is over, the prize money will be given to the winner no later than August 15th, 2011.
Our first weigh-in will be Sunday, May 1st and the results posted on Monday, May 2nd at the latest. The last weigh-in will be Sunday, July 31st, and the results of the whole competition posted Monday, August 1st. We will be weighing in every Sunday. I will need your weight by the end of that day. The earlier, the better. Please try to use the same scale each week and weigh yourself at the same time every Sunday. Feel free to send me a message on Facebook, text me, email me, call me, or tell me in person. There are many ways to get in contact with me, so there should be no problems in getting me your weight on time every week. If you absolutely cannot get to your scale or if it breaks and you have to buy a new one, please let me know ahead of time.
You are allowed to use any diet and exercise method you like, as long as it is safe and healthy. Use of medical appetite suppressants, commercial laxatives, diuretics (except in case of medical necessity), energy drinks, and the over-the-counter drug Alli are not allowed. These would be considered an unfair advantage for anyone using them. Natural supplements and vitamins are okay. Surgical procedures such as gastric bypass, lap-band, and liposuction are automatic disqualifiers. If you have any questions about what might or might not be allowed during the competition, do not hesitate to ask.
A lot of this competition is based on honesty. I won't be able to see some of you on a daily or even weekly basis, so I will have to take your word for it when you tell me how much you've lost and that you have done so legally. Please be honest in your methods and in the accuracy of your progress. Last time I hosted a competition, the very first week a contestant lost 8 lbs. That type of weight loss is not impossible to obtain during the first week, but if it had continued every week, the red flag would have been raised and I would have needed greater proof that it was legitimately achieved (for instance, before and after pictures with a displayed time stamp). Please do not be offended if I ask you for proof should your weight loss produce vastly significant numbers every week. I am just trying to make sure your progress is accurate.
To make the playing field as even as possible, our weight loss will be measured by percentage of weight lost, not by pounds. That way a larger person who loses more weight will have no greater impact than a smaller person who loses less weight. The formula for calculating weight loss percentage is as follows:
pounds lost / previous weight x 100 = weight loss %
We will not be posting our weights publicly, so those of you who are sensitive, don't worry! I will create a closed group on Facebook that will house all of our information and weekly progress. You may all post in the group if you like with comments, topics, photos, recipes, graphs, etc, but please use common courtesy. Playful trash talking is ok, but emphatic put-downs, spamming, flaming, and inappropriate use of the group will not be tolerated. I will moderate the group and make sure the rules are being followed to the best of my abilities. I promise I will be as fair as possible.
Do not hesitate to contact me regarding the rules or to ask questions about anything. Additionally, if you know of anyone who might want to participate, please direct them to this blog post or send them my email! The deadline to sign up is Sunday, April 30, at 11:59 pm!
I wish each and every one of you the best of luck in our competition! Here's to good health!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I Broke My Plateau! (before and after pictures included)
Last week I managed to shock myself.
My weight had been sitting at the same 2-3 lbs ever since the holidays. I hadn't been able to budge for over three months. Pretty darn frustrating, if you ask me. I started to get complacent, which is what usually happens when I don't see any progress on a diet. What typically follows the complacency is me giving up and gaining all the weight back plus some.
The shocking part, to me? This time I dug in my heels and refused to let that happen.
In the 32-plus years I've been alive, I've been on one form of diet or another, all the way back from when I was in first grade. I've never managed to stick with anything. I didn't think I had it in me.
It's nice to be wrong.
Last week, I woke up the day after my cleanse, ran to the bathroom and hopped on the scale. I had lost half a pound. HALF A POUND, people! That's huge, considering the three long months I've struggled! The extra exercise, the stricter adherence to the diet, and a near-perfect cleanse all paid off. Just in case it was a fluke, I decided to sort of tamp down my excitement until the following weigh-in, which happened to be today.
What did it say this morning? That I've lost 51.5 lbs now. Definitely not a fluke.
This diet is actually working for me. Or, more accurately, I am actually letting it work for me. Better yet, I am working hard to make sure it doesn't stop working for me.
And since so many of you have asked, I finally have some pictures to post. The first two are pictures that my fiance took of me on May 31st of last year, just weeks before I started the diet. The following are two sort of terrible pictures I just took with my phone about an hour ago.
Me at 275.8 lbs. I look really, really unhappy. That's a men's 3X t-shirt I'm busting out of.
Profile view isn't much prettier. This was the most I've ever weighed in my life.
Me at 224.2. I'm not ashamed to write down my weight (even though anyone with 2nd grade math skills could have figured it out by now) because I know that won't be me for much longer.
Sort of an awkward profile shot. It's easier when someone's taking it for you.
The next time I post pictures I hope to be at least another ten pounds down. But for right now, this should satisfy those of you who've been pestering me to put these up for months. You know who you are, and I love you for it!
My weight had been sitting at the same 2-3 lbs ever since the holidays. I hadn't been able to budge for over three months. Pretty darn frustrating, if you ask me. I started to get complacent, which is what usually happens when I don't see any progress on a diet. What typically follows the complacency is me giving up and gaining all the weight back plus some.
The shocking part, to me? This time I dug in my heels and refused to let that happen.
In the 32-plus years I've been alive, I've been on one form of diet or another, all the way back from when I was in first grade. I've never managed to stick with anything. I didn't think I had it in me.
It's nice to be wrong.
Last week, I woke up the day after my cleanse, ran to the bathroom and hopped on the scale. I had lost half a pound. HALF A POUND, people! That's huge, considering the three long months I've struggled! The extra exercise, the stricter adherence to the diet, and a near-perfect cleanse all paid off. Just in case it was a fluke, I decided to sort of tamp down my excitement until the following weigh-in, which happened to be today.
What did it say this morning? That I've lost 51.5 lbs now. Definitely not a fluke.
This diet is actually working for me. Or, more accurately, I am actually letting it work for me. Better yet, I am working hard to make sure it doesn't stop working for me.
And since so many of you have asked, I finally have some pictures to post. The first two are pictures that my fiance took of me on May 31st of last year, just weeks before I started the diet. The following are two sort of terrible pictures I just took with my phone about an hour ago.
The next time I post pictures I hope to be at least another ten pounds down. But for right now, this should satisfy those of you who've been pestering me to put these up for months. You know who you are, and I love you for it!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Ever watched The Ugly Truth? You haven't? Don't.
The Ugly Truth (2009)
Starring: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler
Director: Robert Luketic
Genre: Rom-com
Want the real ugly truth? I had to force myself to sit through this whole thing. I didn’t like it nearly as much as I thought I would. Thankfully it was available to stream on Netflix, so I didn’t have to spend any extra money renting it.
First of all, the soundtrack was my personal pop hell: it featured Natasha Bedingfield, Katy Perry, and other songs that were overplayed on the radio, had nothing to do with the movie, and made me roll my eyes. Not every movie has to have soaring orchestral compositions or quirky indie ballads, but it sounds like the music director for the movie only had a 13-year-old girl and a recent album of “Now That's What I Call Music” at his disposal.
I’ve got some questions about this movie. At one point in time, Butler’s character acts like Heigl’s gay BFF and tells her how to get the man, since he knows what goes on in every man’s mind. But if he’s as macho and masculine as he says he is, why is he helping her get hair extensions, bra fittings, and a new dress? That doesn’t make sense. Speaking of which, why was Kevin Connelly featured in the opening credits? Granted, he’s the third most famous person in the movie, but why is someone who’s not even featured for longer than a cameo given relatively top billing?
There’s also lots of potty humor. Ordinarily, the more dirty jokes in a movie, the better for me. But not so much in a movie like this: for instance, you figure the f-bomb would be less abused in a chick flick as seemingly mild and predictable as this one initially appears. Apparently not. There’s also lots of talk of penises, a pair of vibrating panties worn to a dinner party, and even a scene where Heigl gets stuck in a tree, upside-down with her dress slid down to her face to reveal her sensible white underpants. To me, the humor is just plain schlocky and deliberate when it’s not being a giant dirty joke.
The plot is inevitable, formulaic, and predictable. The characters aren’t particularly endearing or believable. Heigl’s Abby comes across as stiff as a high school drama student and Butler’s Mike is an overblown, blustering ego (with a secret hurt deep inside to help explain the misogyny. Imagine that!). They soften as the movie progresses, but not truly to the point of believability. Put Butler back in Spartan armor or military fatigues where he belongs. I’ll believe that more than his story about a parade of women who broke his heart and made him the man he is.
As far as rom-coms go, this wasn’t one of the better ones. Wanna see a good movie in this genre with Katherine Heigl in it? Watch Knocked Up. She and Rogan are far more believable than she and Butler.
Starring: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler
Director: Robert Luketic
Genre: Rom-com
Want the real ugly truth? I had to force myself to sit through this whole thing. I didn’t like it nearly as much as I thought I would. Thankfully it was available to stream on Netflix, so I didn’t have to spend any extra money renting it.
First of all, the soundtrack was my personal pop hell: it featured Natasha Bedingfield, Katy Perry, and other songs that were overplayed on the radio, had nothing to do with the movie, and made me roll my eyes. Not every movie has to have soaring orchestral compositions or quirky indie ballads, but it sounds like the music director for the movie only had a 13-year-old girl and a recent album of “Now That's What I Call Music” at his disposal.
I’ve got some questions about this movie. At one point in time, Butler’s character acts like Heigl’s gay BFF and tells her how to get the man, since he knows what goes on in every man’s mind. But if he’s as macho and masculine as he says he is, why is he helping her get hair extensions, bra fittings, and a new dress? That doesn’t make sense. Speaking of which, why was Kevin Connelly featured in the opening credits? Granted, he’s the third most famous person in the movie, but why is someone who’s not even featured for longer than a cameo given relatively top billing?
There’s also lots of potty humor. Ordinarily, the more dirty jokes in a movie, the better for me. But not so much in a movie like this: for instance, you figure the f-bomb would be less abused in a chick flick as seemingly mild and predictable as this one initially appears. Apparently not. There’s also lots of talk of penises, a pair of vibrating panties worn to a dinner party, and even a scene where Heigl gets stuck in a tree, upside-down with her dress slid down to her face to reveal her sensible white underpants. To me, the humor is just plain schlocky and deliberate when it’s not being a giant dirty joke.
The plot is inevitable, formulaic, and predictable. The characters aren’t particularly endearing or believable. Heigl’s Abby comes across as stiff as a high school drama student and Butler’s Mike is an overblown, blustering ego (with a secret hurt deep inside to help explain the misogyny. Imagine that!). They soften as the movie progresses, but not truly to the point of believability. Put Butler back in Spartan armor or military fatigues where he belongs. I’ll believe that more than his story about a parade of women who broke his heart and made him the man he is.
As far as rom-coms go, this wasn’t one of the better ones. Wanna see a good movie in this genre with Katherine Heigl in it? Watch Knocked Up. She and Rogan are far more believable than she and Butler.
Monday, March 21, 2011
All About My Diet
I know a lot of people have asked me how I've managed to lose 50 lbs recently. I've been on a weight-loss system called Isagenix that seems to be the only thing to work for me. Ever. I've been on diets before where I lost 15, 20, even up to 30 lbs but never managed to keep it off. In fact, I gained back all of my deficit plus a bunch more. After the age of 30 and topping out at 275 lbs, I figured it all had to stop or I was headed for a heart attack and diabetes.
This is not an easy diet. It's hard to do sometimes, but it's also difficult to argue with the results. I've lost 50 lbs so far, my sister has gone from a size 14/16 to a 4, my mom has gone from a 26/28 to a 14, and Dad has gone from a 42" waist down to a 32. Dad has kept it off for nearly a year and my aunt has been even more successful. Those of my family who were diagnosed with diabetes were given a clean bill of health later. I was able to reduce my blood pressure medicine by half and my blood work came back perfect. Seriously. I've even got my cholesterol numbers right here:
Total Cholesterol was 151 (<200 mg/dl is desired).
HDL Cholesterol (the good kind) was at 50 (Desired is >40 and <60).
Triglycerides were at 119 (normal is <150 mg/dl).
LDL Cholesterol was 77 (<130 mg/dl is desired).
Non HDL was 101 (< or = 160 mg/dl is desired).
My TC/HDL ratio was 3.0 (< or = 4.5 is desired).
My doctor even wrote "Great!" next to my scores and told me if I was her kid, she'd be super proud of those scores. And in a couple of months when I go for my yearly check-up, I hope to hear more of the same.
Before everyone begins to think that this is a quick and painless way to lose weight, I'm here to tell you that nothing fits that bill. If something is too good to be true, it usually is. This diet is not for everyone. It's definitely not for people who have less than 20 lbs to lose. It's expensive and sometimes just plain unpleasant, but it's what's worked for me and my family. I was at a point in time in my life where I just couldn't keep doing the same thing to myself anymore. I had to find a way to lose weight and get on the road to being healthy, and so far this seems to be working.
The basic rules of Isagenix:
Eat nine times a day. No processed foods, organic foods are best, and only fresh or frozen produce (nothing canned). Low sodium. Cleanse two days a week (or 48 hours in a row). No caffeine. Natural sweeteners only. Drink as much water as you can a day. Herbal hot teas are ok. Lean beef, chicken, fish, bison, and other free-range, antibiotic-free all-natural meats are ok. No pork. One-inch cubes of full-fat cheese are ok. The only fruit allowed at first is Granny Smith apples because they're low on the glycemic scale. Vinegar is ok, Mrs. Dash is ok, small amounts of sea salt are ok. Olive oil is good. Unsalted almonds and Brazil nuts are permitted. One egg per day is the limit. Most veggies are ok, nothing too starchy or high in sugar like corn, peas, carrots, or potatoes. Limited amounts of tomatoes.
This program is pretty heavily dependent on the company's products, so it does get quite expensive. You have to find someone who sells the products, too (or hop on eBay and try to win them), you can't just order them from the company. Two meals a day must be replaced with either their shakes or bars. The shakes make me sick because they have lactase in them, so I have to have the bars. You have to take an all-natural Fat-Burning Accelerator twice a day and a capsule or two of Isaflush at night to make sure you stay regular. You take one shot glass of Ionix Supreme (a vitamin supplement) every night. During cleanse days, you have to drink their Cleanse for Life four times a day. You eat their Snacks--appetite suppressing wafers--six times a day and have the option of eating their Isadelights--dark chocolates infused with amino acids--once daily. When a box of bars lasts you one week and costs $35 and a bottle of powdered cleanse lasts the same and costs $40, you can see with just that much how the costs can be pretty oppressive. Fortunately Mom lets me pay her monthly.
Here's a typical week for me:
Sunday/Monday:
8:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
12:30 eat an Isadelight, follow with 8 oz water
1:30 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat a Snack, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
8:00 eat two almonds, drink hot herbal tea sweetened with Truvia
9:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 eat a snack, take Isaflush capsules, follow with 8 oz water (sometimes I drink less so I don't have a full bladder when I go to sleep)
This part of the diet is truly the hardest. You're only really getting about 250 calories on both days during the cleanse, so there's a good chance you'll feel tired, hungry, and generally miserable. This is also, however, where the majority of the weight loss comes in (which usually makes all that misery worth it). I tend to lose anywhere between 1 and 4 lbs during cleanse and tend to feel a lot better (cleaner and lighter, even) once it's over. True to its name, this system does clean you out. When I first started the diet, I had to be very careful on the second day of cleanse and not stray very far from the bathroom. Fortunately, my body got used to it after a while and I never had any accidents.
The rest of the week (Tuesday-Saturday):
8:00 eat meal replacement bar, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat boiled egg, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat SlimCake (high-fiber oatmeal cookie with cranberries), follow with 8 oz water
1:00 eat meal replacement bar, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat small Granny Smith apple, follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat small salad of spinach, green onions, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, and one tablespoon all-natural light dressing, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 eat steamed veggies and 4-6 oz grilled fish/turkey/chicken/beef/bison seasoned with Mrs. Dash, pepper, and a small amount of sea salt, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat two stalks of celery, follow with 8 oz water
9:00 eat one tablespoon cottage cheese and two almonds, drink shot glass of Ionix Supreme, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 take two Isaflush, follow with 8 oz water
It's important that you eat each and every time you are supposed to, even if you're not hungry. During those times, you can just pop a small piece of cheese or two almonds. You can switch around your meal and snack times a little, if you need to. I typically bring my bars with me to work since they're convenient and much easier to deal with than a piece of meat and a couple of cups of veggies.
They recommend you exercise at least 20 minutes a day and I have lately been exceeding that most of the week. I'm not able to do so during cleanse days, but I figure that's not a big deal since my calorie intake is so low. I drink about a gallon of water every day (I like to keep those one-liter Smartwater bottles on hand).
I've also had some trouble with constipation, but that's probably because I either overindulged on the cheese, didn't drink enough water, or missed my Isaflush. All easily fixed. If I was extra constipated, I could eat prunes and a little oatmeal or take laxatives. Never had a time when those remedies didn't eventually do their job.
This system takes weight off pretty quickly. I lost 8 lbs the first week and managed to lose 1 to 4 lbs almost every week thereafter. Forty days after you start the diet, your body switches from sugar-burning to fat-burning and burns nearly everything you put in it. The cleanse operates as a turbo-fueled boost that jump-starts your weight loss and helps clear out the crap that is released by your fat cells from years of food abuse. It's sort of like a clean slate at the end of every week. If you went out to eat and gained some water weight from high-sodium food, it helps flush it all out.
Speaking of going out to eat, you can find things that are ok to eat on the diet. Most places will accomodate you if you ask them to cook it with little or no salt. Olive Garden is especially good about special requests. But basically any place that has a grilled option with a side salad that isn't premixed with dressing or veggies that can be steamed without butter or salt is a great place to go.
After the first 40 days of the diet, I was able to have one day a week where I screwed up and ate something I wasn't supposed to, like sushi or some bread. I still lost weight, even if it wasn't as consistently as before. The real problem came when I went overboard on nearly everything during the holidays. I gained 9 lbs back and have had the hardest time trying to get them back off. It's March now and this week I'm finally going to break through my plateau. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sticking as closely to the diet as I can after this. What with the wedding coming up and trying on dresses in August, I'm going to need to be as faithful to this as I possibly can.
I've been on Isagenix since June of last year and intend on staying with it until I get down to a healthy size (after which I'll switch to a program like Weight Watchers that doesn't expect dependency on their products). What that healthy size is I'm not really sure since I've never been thin. I expect I'll want to lose another 100 lbs and then see where I feel the best.
So far, so good.
This is not an easy diet. It's hard to do sometimes, but it's also difficult to argue with the results. I've lost 50 lbs so far, my sister has gone from a size 14/16 to a 4, my mom has gone from a 26/28 to a 14, and Dad has gone from a 42" waist down to a 32. Dad has kept it off for nearly a year and my aunt has been even more successful. Those of my family who were diagnosed with diabetes were given a clean bill of health later. I was able to reduce my blood pressure medicine by half and my blood work came back perfect. Seriously. I've even got my cholesterol numbers right here:
Total Cholesterol was 151 (<200 mg/dl is desired).
HDL Cholesterol (the good kind) was at 50 (Desired is >40 and <60).
Triglycerides were at 119 (normal is <150 mg/dl).
LDL Cholesterol was 77 (<130 mg/dl is desired).
Non HDL was 101 (< or = 160 mg/dl is desired).
My TC/HDL ratio was 3.0 (< or = 4.5 is desired).
My doctor even wrote "Great!" next to my scores and told me if I was her kid, she'd be super proud of those scores. And in a couple of months when I go for my yearly check-up, I hope to hear more of the same.
Before everyone begins to think that this is a quick and painless way to lose weight, I'm here to tell you that nothing fits that bill. If something is too good to be true, it usually is. This diet is not for everyone. It's definitely not for people who have less than 20 lbs to lose. It's expensive and sometimes just plain unpleasant, but it's what's worked for me and my family. I was at a point in time in my life where I just couldn't keep doing the same thing to myself anymore. I had to find a way to lose weight and get on the road to being healthy, and so far this seems to be working.
The basic rules of Isagenix:
Eat nine times a day. No processed foods, organic foods are best, and only fresh or frozen produce (nothing canned). Low sodium. Cleanse two days a week (or 48 hours in a row). No caffeine. Natural sweeteners only. Drink as much water as you can a day. Herbal hot teas are ok. Lean beef, chicken, fish, bison, and other free-range, antibiotic-free all-natural meats are ok. No pork. One-inch cubes of full-fat cheese are ok. The only fruit allowed at first is Granny Smith apples because they're low on the glycemic scale. Vinegar is ok, Mrs. Dash is ok, small amounts of sea salt are ok. Olive oil is good. Unsalted almonds and Brazil nuts are permitted. One egg per day is the limit. Most veggies are ok, nothing too starchy or high in sugar like corn, peas, carrots, or potatoes. Limited amounts of tomatoes.
This program is pretty heavily dependent on the company's products, so it does get quite expensive. You have to find someone who sells the products, too (or hop on eBay and try to win them), you can't just order them from the company. Two meals a day must be replaced with either their shakes or bars. The shakes make me sick because they have lactase in them, so I have to have the bars. You have to take an all-natural Fat-Burning Accelerator twice a day and a capsule or two of Isaflush at night to make sure you stay regular. You take one shot glass of Ionix Supreme (a vitamin supplement) every night. During cleanse days, you have to drink their Cleanse for Life four times a day. You eat their Snacks--appetite suppressing wafers--six times a day and have the option of eating their Isadelights--dark chocolates infused with amino acids--once daily. When a box of bars lasts you one week and costs $35 and a bottle of powdered cleanse lasts the same and costs $40, you can see with just that much how the costs can be pretty oppressive. Fortunately Mom lets me pay her monthly.
Here's a typical week for me:
Sunday/Monday:
8:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
12:30 eat an Isadelight, follow with 8 oz water
1:30 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat a Snack, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat a Snack, follow with 8 oz water
8:00 eat two almonds, drink hot herbal tea sweetened with Truvia
9:00 drink 2 scoops of Cleanse for Life in 4 oz of water, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 eat a snack, take Isaflush capsules, follow with 8 oz water (sometimes I drink less so I don't have a full bladder when I go to sleep)
This part of the diet is truly the hardest. You're only really getting about 250 calories on both days during the cleanse, so there's a good chance you'll feel tired, hungry, and generally miserable. This is also, however, where the majority of the weight loss comes in (which usually makes all that misery worth it). I tend to lose anywhere between 1 and 4 lbs during cleanse and tend to feel a lot better (cleaner and lighter, even) once it's over. True to its name, this system does clean you out. When I first started the diet, I had to be very careful on the second day of cleanse and not stray very far from the bathroom. Fortunately, my body got used to it after a while and I never had any accidents.
The rest of the week (Tuesday-Saturday):
8:00 eat meal replacement bar, take Accelerator and follow with 8 oz water
10:00 eat boiled egg, follow with 8 oz water
11:30 eat SlimCake (high-fiber oatmeal cookie with cranberries), follow with 8 oz water
1:00 eat meal replacement bar, follow with 8 oz water
3:00 eat small Granny Smith apple, follow with 8 oz water
4:30 eat small salad of spinach, green onions, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, and one tablespoon all-natural light dressing, follow with 8 oz water
6:00 eat steamed veggies and 4-6 oz grilled fish/turkey/chicken/beef/bison seasoned with Mrs. Dash, pepper, and a small amount of sea salt, follow with 8 oz water
7:00 eat two stalks of celery, follow with 8 oz water
9:00 eat one tablespoon cottage cheese and two almonds, drink shot glass of Ionix Supreme, follow with 8 oz water
10:30 take two Isaflush, follow with 8 oz water
It's important that you eat each and every time you are supposed to, even if you're not hungry. During those times, you can just pop a small piece of cheese or two almonds. You can switch around your meal and snack times a little, if you need to. I typically bring my bars with me to work since they're convenient and much easier to deal with than a piece of meat and a couple of cups of veggies.
They recommend you exercise at least 20 minutes a day and I have lately been exceeding that most of the week. I'm not able to do so during cleanse days, but I figure that's not a big deal since my calorie intake is so low. I drink about a gallon of water every day (I like to keep those one-liter Smartwater bottles on hand).
I've also had some trouble with constipation, but that's probably because I either overindulged on the cheese, didn't drink enough water, or missed my Isaflush. All easily fixed. If I was extra constipated, I could eat prunes and a little oatmeal or take laxatives. Never had a time when those remedies didn't eventually do their job.
This system takes weight off pretty quickly. I lost 8 lbs the first week and managed to lose 1 to 4 lbs almost every week thereafter. Forty days after you start the diet, your body switches from sugar-burning to fat-burning and burns nearly everything you put in it. The cleanse operates as a turbo-fueled boost that jump-starts your weight loss and helps clear out the crap that is released by your fat cells from years of food abuse. It's sort of like a clean slate at the end of every week. If you went out to eat and gained some water weight from high-sodium food, it helps flush it all out.
Speaking of going out to eat, you can find things that are ok to eat on the diet. Most places will accomodate you if you ask them to cook it with little or no salt. Olive Garden is especially good about special requests. But basically any place that has a grilled option with a side salad that isn't premixed with dressing or veggies that can be steamed without butter or salt is a great place to go.
After the first 40 days of the diet, I was able to have one day a week where I screwed up and ate something I wasn't supposed to, like sushi or some bread. I still lost weight, even if it wasn't as consistently as before. The real problem came when I went overboard on nearly everything during the holidays. I gained 9 lbs back and have had the hardest time trying to get them back off. It's March now and this week I'm finally going to break through my plateau. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sticking as closely to the diet as I can after this. What with the wedding coming up and trying on dresses in August, I'm going to need to be as faithful to this as I possibly can.
I've been on Isagenix since June of last year and intend on staying with it until I get down to a healthy size (after which I'll switch to a program like Weight Watchers that doesn't expect dependency on their products). What that healthy size is I'm not really sure since I've never been thin. I expect I'll want to lose another 100 lbs and then see where I feel the best.
So far, so good.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
23-hour day
I constantly wish that I had more time in the day to get things accomplished. I seem to be operating at a minimum right now. I don't get enough sleep, I haven't been able to finish reading a book in months, my house is a wreck, and I haven't been able to respond to any emails or messages that require a lot of thought and evaluation.
I can't blame Daylight Savings Time. It was true I lost an hour, but that was just for one night. It seems like somewhere hours upon hours are slipping silently into a big black hole.
I have a to-do list that I keep on the desktop of my phone that reminds me of all the things that need to be accomplished. Some of them are long-term items (like completing my CEs for my tech certification by July or gathering items to sell at our massive garage sale this summer) and some of them are daily goals (like exercising or blogging). Some things that are listed could be accomplished and permanently removed if I just had the time to slow down and actually do them. Some of them have been on there for over a month. Where the heck is all my time going?
I try to multi-task as much as possible. I iron or exercise while watching episodes of House so that my DVR doesn't fill up. I blog while the dishes are washing in the dishwasher. I file my nails while clearing things off of my streaming Netflix queue and clean my house while running the laundry. I feel like I'm doing what I can.
Maybe my expectations are too high in getting everything on that to-do list accomplished. Maybe I should take a week-long vacation where I get caught up on all the stuff I need to do. Maybe I should get in bed, go to sleep, and just start attacking the snot out of my list when I wake up (at a reasonable hour!) tomorrow morning. I'll blog my success or failure.
Or, rather, I'll blog my success. The lack of posts prior to this one already sort of admits my failure.
I can't blame Daylight Savings Time. It was true I lost an hour, but that was just for one night. It seems like somewhere hours upon hours are slipping silently into a big black hole.
I have a to-do list that I keep on the desktop of my phone that reminds me of all the things that need to be accomplished. Some of them are long-term items (like completing my CEs for my tech certification by July or gathering items to sell at our massive garage sale this summer) and some of them are daily goals (like exercising or blogging). Some things that are listed could be accomplished and permanently removed if I just had the time to slow down and actually do them. Some of them have been on there for over a month. Where the heck is all my time going?
I try to multi-task as much as possible. I iron or exercise while watching episodes of House so that my DVR doesn't fill up. I blog while the dishes are washing in the dishwasher. I file my nails while clearing things off of my streaming Netflix queue and clean my house while running the laundry. I feel like I'm doing what I can.
Maybe my expectations are too high in getting everything on that to-do list accomplished. Maybe I should take a week-long vacation where I get caught up on all the stuff I need to do. Maybe I should get in bed, go to sleep, and just start attacking the snot out of my list when I wake up (at a reasonable hour!) tomorrow morning. I'll blog my success or failure.
Or, rather, I'll blog my success. The lack of posts prior to this one already sort of admits my failure.
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